I was once taught that there are only seven different stories to tell and all movie plots are a variation of one Sir Arthur Thomas Quiller-Couch’s seven archetypal themes:  *Man Against Man – *Man Against Nature – *Man Against Himself – *Man Against God – *Man Against Society – *Man Caught in the Middle – *Man and Woman

Well, this week I got to see the movie trailer for GEOSTORM – a new twist on the weather gone wrong film – and, it reminded me just how much I love the sometimes cheesy, mostly unrealistic, but always entertaining, underappreciated Man Against Nature themed disaster movie!

Whether it’s the earth (SAN ANDRES), the air (AIRPORT), the fire (THE TOWERING INFERNO) or the water (THE POSEIDON ADVENTURE), I can’t change the channel when I happen across one of these amazing cinematic productions.  We’ve got volcanoes (DANTE’S PEAK), tornadoes (TWISTER), creepy-crawlies (ARACHNOPHOBIA), disease (CONTAGION) and meteors (DEEP IMPACT).  Denizens of the deep (JAWS) and the sky (THE BIRDS).  Things we can’t see (THE CORE) and things we don’t want to comprehend (THE SWARM). And, then, the one we stake major daily decisions on…the weather (THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW).

What is it about the fear of Mother Nature and her reign that excites us?  Why do we want to watch people catch on fire or drown or even get eaten?

I’ve looked up the psychology of this phenomenon and read various theories about how it certainly must have something to do with taking away our everyday responsibilities, the comfort of bonding with others through tragedy, that we are obsessed with the end of the world or even that we enjoy these films because they calm our anxieties of dealing with our own mortality.

For me, I think that the excitement from watching these films stems from something simpler:  It’s a giant game.  A game where the worst situations are thrown at the players to see who will ultimately win. But, here’s the kicker…we already won! We will be part of the solution when the problem is solved because we are watching from the safe confines of our neighborhood movie theater.  We are going to be standing among the survivors once the credits start to roll.  We aren’t the guy that cut the budget on the building materials only to fall down the ramshackle stairway or the girl who thinks swimming back to the boat to get her bag of stolen drugs is the smart move. And, as the body count continues to rise with each new peril, we already know we will live on to tell the tale.

Beyond that, it’s a learning experience.  We get to see, firsthand, the consequences of our potential actions if something like this actually does happen one day.  What would we do if suddenly faced with lava pouring down the street or an avalanche heading our way during our ski vacation? When it comes to these calamities, there is that chance, albeit slight, that a giant great white shark is hovering just out of sight when we take a swim in the ocean or that faulty wiring in our hotel room will start a catastrophic blaze.  It’s possible, because it has all happened.  There are killer bees and tsunamis and deadly diseases…we see them all nightly on the news.  So, hooray… these movies give us a chance to weigh out our options ahead of time. Those of us that have spent hour after hour in the cold, dark cinema will be a little more prepared then those that roll their eyes at the newest disaster flick.

I guarantee if lava ever bubbles up from the La Brea Tar Pits, people are going to give Tommy Lee Jones’ strategy some deep consideration.  And, if a meteor looks like it’s getting too close to the Earth, another look at ARMAGEDDON will probably be protocol.

So, I say, let the disaster movies continue to roll out of Hollywood.  And, when the end of the world hits, you are all invited to find your way to my house.  I, of course, will have plenty of non-perishable movie snacks and an abundance of DVDs we can watch to calculate our next move. I predict victory.  #50Weeksto50

This post is dedicated to every USH Tour Guide that pulled out of the parting of the Red Sea only to find an hour long tram back up behind “Earthquake: The Big One” – and survived the days before video stall material.