In late 1980 Workman Publishing came out with “The Official Preppy Handbook.”  I bought my copy at Spencer’s Gifts – shows you what a literary masterpiece I’m talking about.  I think they displayed it between the left over Pet Rocks and the Chippendales calendar for 1981 (February’s man of the month was a very handsome, blonde, tan, surfer type wearing boxer shorts*, if I recall correctly.  Like if Ted McGinley had decided to become a calendar model instead of pursue the part of Stan Gable in “Revenge of the Nerds”).

Though it was a tongue-in-cheek guide book, I read with a serious eye and filed every detail away.  After all, it was extremely comprehensive in providing everything you needed to know if you wanted to look, eat, dress and live like a preppy.  Legacies, etiquette, taste – it would lead us down the righteous path!  Since I did not yet own my first official pair of duck boots but already regularly carried my wooden handled Pappagallo purse, I appreciated the guidance.

And, as my nature has proven, I went all in.

In the years that followed, I matched a few of the outfits in every facet, from top to bottom.  Mirrored sunglasses with the leather sun blocker sides for skiing: check.  LL Bean Norwegian navy rag sweater: check.  Striped grosgrain ribbon headband: check.  Pink and green, espadrilles and loafers, alligators and whales – I read every page and took mental notes of it all.

My first preppy partner in crime was a girl named Rachel Morris.  She lived in Tanager Woods, her father worked for Procter & Gamble and her family got transferred to Belgium.  Why the exposition?  Well, you know those people you wish you could find on Facebook or by Googling all the information you can remember about them?  Well, I’ve tried, unsuccessfully, to find Rachel. So, if you know who I’m talking about…

Okay, back to the quest for ultimate preppiness.

Rachel and I choose our preppy nicknames, popped our Izod collars and were sure to add a monogram on brightly colored accessories (belts, watchbands, book bags, purse covers, shoe laces) whenever we could.  We looked forward to the day that we’d drive our matching Saabs to the Hamptons and double date with our BMOCs Tripp and Win.

Once Rachel moved away, it didn’t stop my need to explore all that was considered preppy.  In fact, ¾ of the book went into detail on the adult preppy, so I still had many years of learning and executing ahead.

Later in high school, the handbook provided my friends and me with covert nicknames we could use when writing notes to each other:  Buffy & Kiki VanWheldon.  I still have some of those notes.  That way if our notes accidentally ended up in the wrong hands, there would be no way to trace it back to the original writer.  We had secret names for everyone in our inner and, actually, outer circle.

In fact, Kiki (and I won’t tell you her real name) is probably the only person on the planet that could steal my identity, break-into my voicemail and empty my bank account all within a matter of minutes, just by using our secret code from high school.

The preppy credo continued to overrun my fashion sense far beyond high school though and, of course, fit in very well when I became a sorority girl in college.  The plaid Greek letters sewn onto my rain jacket exactly matched the gullwing (yeah, I didn’t know it was called that either) on my Tretorn sneakers.  Madras, cardigans, Lilly Pulitzer, khakis, oxford shirts, plaid, Ray Ban aviators…I couldn’t get enough.  On a video made by a dear friend for my 22^nd birthday, he had my non-preppy roommate send me her wishes while dressed in all my clothes (navy/red striped Ralph Lauren sweater, matching striped Ralph Lauren socks, navy penny loafers, navy wool Bermuda shorts, double add-a-bead necklaces and both a red and navy ribbon tying back her hair).  Yes, she was mocking me, but in the most lovingly way.  My usual attire didn’t mesh with most of my Los Angeles friends, but most of the time I still stuck with the basics anyway.

This is coming from a girl who wore a pink shirt, khaki pants, loafers, pink socks and pearls to an Iron Maiden concert – just to look cute for the boy I bought the tickets for (no, I have no idea what songs they sing).

To be honest though, most of those items don’t really go out of style completely (okay, maybe the bows in the hair – but, they too will come back one day).  Preppy is not trendy, it’s classic.  And, if it was just a trend, Ralph Lauren would have retired a long time ago.

Okay, Ralph Lauren.  To me Ralph Lauren ranks in clothing like Coca-Cola ranks in beverages.  Not only will it always remain at the top of my list, there also really isn’t any 2^nd place below it.  Coincidentally (or not), the RL Restaurant in Chicago serves Coke products.  And, can I really gloss over the Ralph Lauren store in Chicago so quickly?  I would love to move into that store.  In fact, moving forward, I can be found on the top floor, past the fabric samples, in the back right replica bedroom.  My parents are extremely lucky that the store was located blocks away from its current location at 750 N. Michigan Avenue, because I lived at 777 N. Michigan when I went to college in Chicago, which is exactly across the street.  There is no way that I could I have been trusted to buy textbooks if the navy cashmere turtleneck sweater with the velvet and gold encrusted logo was calling my name from across the street.

To this day, the majority of my favorite clothes still carry a Polo horse sewn in corresponding colored thread.  I have purses and dishes and notebooks and luggage and comforters…even my eye glasses feature a tiny silver polo player on the side.  Obsessed is kind of a good word.  I am always looking for unique items that no one else has, as long as they have an itty bitty horse & player somewhere.  I wish I could tell you WHY I love the brand so much.  Maybe because my favorite sweatshirt ever (circa 1983) was made by Ralph Lauren?   Could it be that in another life I was a famed equestrian or Olympic polo player?  Perhaps there is an underlying reason somewhere in the fact that Ralph’s first clothing line, ‘Polo’ was founded the same year I was born?  (Ralph Lauren made ties in 1967, but clothing wasn’t established until 1968)

Whatever the reason, I can say it is pretty clear that no matter what “fun” outfits I may copy from movies and television shows, I will always come back to my core standard…Ralph Lauren.  Ingrained like the woven knit of an argyle sweater, it seems I will always be a preppy at heart – and I no longer need the handbook to prove it.  I may have learned on a bit of a lark, but clearly it must have been meant to be.  And, honestly, that’s okay by me.  #50WeeksTo50

*A-ha…maybe why I loved Vince VanPatten in “Hell Night”