If I had the chance to eat any cheeseburger in the world, there is no doubt that I would head to In-N-Out Burger for a Double Double (mustard, ketchup & lettuce only).  Mmmmm…I’m starting to get hungry, just thinking about it.  I can’t say that I love all cheeseburgers, because that would be a lie.  I don’t like burgers that are too thick, too under done (medium well for me) or ones with fancy epicurean toppings or fillings – just American cheese, please.  Even adding ketchup became a later fact, only because Stephanie Zinone asked for “extra ketchup” in GREASE 2.  It actually is even better for hamburgers (how she ordered it), but also is a nice addition for cheeseburgers.  And, truly, a good cheeseburger is in my top ten foods.  The problem is finding a good one.  Unfortunately, there isn’t an In-N-Out Burger anywhere close to me, so I only get the chance to indulge in those once or twice a year.  (probably better for my health anyway)

Back in college, I worked at the Buzy Bee which was a 50s diner style restaurant in Clifton (near the Esquire Theatre – it’s a Thai restaurant now).  They had a great cheeseburger.  Alas.  Then, there is Steak n’ Shake (coincidentally with an “n” in their name) which I think is the closest burger to an In-N-Out in the Midwest, but not even close to really being as good.

So, usually, on those rare occasions I find a cheeseburger in hand, it will likely be a cheeseburger from McDonald’s.  I can collectively imagine the sounds of aversion, eye rolling and shaking of heads after realizing that I actually implied that McDonald’s has a good cheeseburger; but, the kid in me, will always love the not too thick, no frills, cooked thoroughly, simple McDonald’s cheeseburger (plain, if possible).

It is also why, no matter where I travel, I have to pop in when I see those golden arches to take a look and see what I might find.  I’ve found pizza at the Rock N Roll McDonald’s in Chicago (pizza never caught on as a long term menu item), beer at McDonald’s in Germany (most don’t offer that anymore), Pineapple Pie in Hawaii, a self-ordering kiosk (which I heard is coming to America) and a Mediterranean Tuna salad in Spain.  I’ve also heard about the Lobster Roll that is offered seasonally in New England, the McArabia (chicken or beef in a pita), the Maharaja Mac (India’s version of a Big Mac with chicken & vegetables) and the McSpaghetti (possibly still offered in the Philippines).

It’s such a nice feeling to know that there is a little piece of home that is available no matter where you go, especially when you are a picky eater.  I will try just about anything, but if I don’t like it and am stuck in a foreign country, believe me, there is nothing better than seeing a McDonald’s sign in the distance. It is probably the only time I enjoy eating something so American when traveling abroad.  Usually, I want to immerse myself in the culture, whenever I can.  And, I am pretty much against more Americanization of the world.

When I go to Italy, I don’t expect people to speak English.  I want to suffer through asking questions and playing charades to find out where I might find the nearest ladies room or furiously search the internet to find out what this or that Italian word means on the dinner menu.  If I visit another country, I should do my due diligence and try my best to muddle through the language barrier.  And, I expect that foreigners coming to the US should do the same.  But, it looks like other countries have made it easy on us lazy Americans and done their best to learn enough English to take our orders, sell us some souvenirs and even give us change in our own currency, in some instances.  What a shame.

I was very disappointed when visiting the Egyptian Pyramids and found a billboard written in English featuring a giant Coke can with the words, “It’s an ancient thing” scrolled across.  No doubt it was a cool billboard, especially, and it seems repetitive to say, because Coca-Cola is at the top of my favorite things list.  But it also kind of took something away from the experience of rounding the corner to see the Sphinx.  And speaking about traveling abroad and Coca-Cola…sometimes McDonald’s is the only place you can find a fountain Coke (can Coke is more readily available overseas, but certainly not as good).  Here’s the hierarchy: Fountain is always better than glass bottle, glass bottle is always better than can, can is always better than plastic bottle; but, no matter which way you pour it, it is absolutely best served ice cold!

McDonald’s, not too long ago, finally ran an ad campaign about their cokes.  Long past due, I say.  I was a devoted McDonald’s Coke fan for years and always wondered why they didn’t promote their Cokes.  Their fries (keep your eyes on your fries), their signature sandwich (two all-beef patties…) and even their breakfasts (there’s more in the middle of an Egg McMuffin…) but never their Coke.  I envisioned a wonderful campaign where people would try to figure out what made McDonald’s Cokes so much better than anywhere else…their ice disks? Their wide diameter straws?  Their syrup to water ratio?  I have heard it actually does have something to do with the syrup to water ratio and/or the special canisters that McDonald’s gets that other restaurants don’t.  Well, whatever it was, and remember this is coming from Coca-Cola’s biggest fan and someone that has never dissed McDonald’s for anything, somehow things got messed up.  It seems to have been sometime around the time that McDonald’s installed those auto-fill machines. You know the ones that drop the cup, fill it with ice and then pour the drink in.

I can’t correlate the connection with any facts, but when those machines started getting installed, the Cokes really weren’t that good anymore.  And, that gave Wendy’s a chance to take the lead, as far as I’m concerned.  Now, let me clarify this a bit more.  I am not a Wendy’s cheeseburger fan.  My family isn’t really Wendy’s supporters, overall.  I probably have gone to Wendy’s a handful of times in my life to get something for my mom or dad.  But, I did start getting a daily grilled chicken sandwich from there, years ago, when it was the only thing that our older dog, Mandy, would eat for dinner.  And, that is when I realized how much better Wendy’s Coke had become.  They had stepped up their game, it seems.   So, nowadays, it wouldn’t be uncommon for me to get food from McDonald’s and then drive through Wendy’s to get a better Coke.

Many others will tell me that Coke from McDonald’s is the still the best, so maybe it’s me.  But, I happen to love Coke that bites – the kind that hurts the back of your throat when you take too big of a gulp.  I call it the “zhing” and there is nothing like it.  I also prefer a Coke that is a bit dry and not too sweet.  With, extra ice please, of course.  McDonald’s Cokes now taste like they were mixed with sweet tarts or something.  The flavoring isn’t quite right.  While we are on the matter, here is another top of the line Coke:  Kings Island at the LaRosa’s near the Beast.  And, I’d like to commend Showcase Springdale for bringing Coke back…umm…Frisch’s, you hear that?

In conclusion, as if I am wrapping up a law case to prove the importance of Coke in the world, let’s just end with this:  Coca-Cola and McDonald’s are America.  And, God Bless America.    #50Weeksto50

Additional Note:  Although they do not make it anymore, I was a big fan of the lower in fat cheeseburger, the McLean Deluxe.  It didn’t do well, mostly because people started spreading the news that there was seaweed in it.  Folks…there is seaweed in toothpaste, but we still put that in our mouths.  People are silly.  They should have tried it.  I like seaweed and, honestly, it was quite tasty.