I was as giddy as a five year-old entering Disneyland for the first time when I heard that Battle of the Network Stars was returning to ABC this summer.  To be fair, when it comes to television, a lot of what was old is getting a chance to be new again:  Match Game, Roseanne, The $100,000 Pyramid, Lethal Weapon, Fuller House, Will & Grace, Dynasty, etc.  However, nothing was as elating to me as hearing about the addition to the summer 2017 primetime lineup of one of my favorite past specialty shows.

It was back during prime network television watching years for me, between 1976 and 1985 (with one last show in 1988), that the competitions took place on ABC.  The three networks (yes, there were ONLY three – PBS wasn’t included, Fox hadn’t started yet and no one I knew had cable in the 70s) had a group of their “best” actors compete against each other in acts of strength, sports & skill.  Each challenge awarded points, with the top two teams facing off in the finale – a tug of war – for the chance to gain the winning title!  The famous Howard Cosell commentated on the various events which included swimming, relay running, an obstacle course, bowling, and, my favorite, the kayak race.

Awkward fact:  I would frequently play by myself in Gigi’s (my grandmother) pool with a blow up raft-type boat (it was no kayak, but it’s all I had) and pretend that I was in the kayak race, racing and paddling down the length of the pool, back and forth, to win the event for the ABC team.  I kayaked against the best of them – Joan Van Ark, Debbie Allen, Andrew Stevens, Jane Seymour, Melissa Gilbert, Tom Wopat; and, of course, I usually won the relay for my ABC team at the last second.  I ALWAYS wanted ABC to win.

ABC was the young programming station with Charlie’s Angels, Happy Days, Battlestar Galactica, Eight is Enough, Three’s Company, Benson, Bosom Buddies, Mork & Mindy, Angie, The Greatest American Hero, and pretty much all my favorite shows.  I am not sure if ABC always won the kayak race in the broadcast version, but they did in Gigi’s pool.  And, my imaginary co-star/teammates and I always celebrated after our win by singing, “Still the One” which ABC used to promote their upcoming seasons in the late 70s, when they topped the yearly Nielsen ratings.  They had a few commercial versions of the promo having their actors hold up the #1 sign on their fingers or float away in hot air balloons (okay, maybe another thing that was just cool to me because barely anyone else remembers those ads; but, till this day when I hear the Orleans tune, I hold up my finger proudly with a big smile on my face, just like I remember The Love Boat’s cast doing in the ads).

Now, maybe you spent your grade school years playing sports, so you might not necessarily see the thrill of watching TV stars compete in what seem to be pretty simple challenges.  Well for those of you sports kids, maybe this will help you understand.  First off, you probably had your favorite sports heroes and reveled at their number of strikeouts, touchdown pass stats, fastest laps, etc.  Well, being a theater kid, my heroes were the actors and actresses that actually made it in Hollywood and starred weekly in their own sitcom or captivating one-hour drama.

Secondly, not many true theater kids really care for sports (unless you consider dancing as part of a chorus number or learning tap).  So, it wasn’t like I was expecting any true sports-like feats from any of my favorite television actors or actresses.  True, there might be someone that was just naturally athletically inclined (i.e. Mark Harmon) or didn’t get into acting until later in life; but, usually it was a pretty equally matched game and no one was really THAT great.

But, to watch Chachi Arcola (Scott Baio) clash against B.A. Baracus (Mr. T) or Kris Munroe (Cheryl Ladd) battle Barbara Cooper (Valerie Bertinelli); that was just enthralling fun, all around.  Plus, for a kid who wanted nothing more in life than to live in Southern California, watching the competition filmed on the grounds of Pepperdine University, along the Pacific Ocean, was enchanting.  To make it even more engaging, the tasks actually seemed physically possible for a theater kid to tackle, if I was ever lucky enough to join their team.  Hitting a dunk tank target, possible.  Being one of the last standing in a round of Simon Says, pretty likely (yes, even that was one of the events).  Winning the swimming pool kayak race, you betcha!

So, a couple of weeks ago, when the show reappeared, I diligently DVRed the first episode and could barely wait to give it a watch.  The new version also uses the same games (the kayak race is still going strong); but, instead of networks, there are themed teams such as TV Sitcoms vs. TV Kids, or TV Lawyers vs. TV White House, or TV Families vs. TV Doctors.  Smartly, they have mixed the teams with both current and past television actors and even sprinkled in many of the team members that appeared on the original shows in the 70s and 80s (can’t wait for the TV Moms & Dads episode with Greg Evigan and Ted McGinley and the TV Cops episode with Erik Estrada and Larry Wilcox).

The big question is, does it spark the same excitement and admiration as the original?  Well, unfortunately, no; but, the problem isn’t the show.  And, it isn’t that some of the stars are grayer, out of shape or just a lot older looking.  It’s just that there are so many shows, so many networks, and so many other ways to watch “television” now-a-days that there is no way you can possibly know every single star or reality show personality.  That makes rooting for your favorite team not quite as fun as it used to be.  Network loyalty like NBC’s Must See TV is no more.  Now we have USA, TNT, Freeform, FX, HBO, Amazon, Bravo, History, Netflix, AMC, Hulu, etc.  We need DVRs because we couldn’t possibly keep up with all the programming out there.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.  I am a total TV junkie and I try to watch as much as I can because there is just so much great stuff out there; however, it takes some of the excitement out of a show like this.

Still, I will keep watching.

To have an hour a week to reminisce about all the shows I grew up with is worth every second out of my free time and more.  Do I think Battle of the Network Stars will be back next year?  Probably not – the ratings seem to be dropping every week.  But for now, I plan to tune in, smile longingly and enjoy every single moment of competition as I proudly cheer on Adrian Zmed, Lou Ferrigno, Donna Mills, Ted Lange, Willie Aames, Charlene Tilton and Parker Stevenson.  Welcome back to my living room old friends.  You have been sincerely missed.  #50WeeksTo50

Always a side note:  The kayak race of May 1984 had the ABC team of John James, Heather Locklear and C. Thomas Howell (who had a brief show on ABC called “Two Marriages”) along with Shari Belafonte-Harper.  I am 100% confident that had I been on an ABC show in the spring of 1984 instead of in the Sycamore High School production of “Oliver,” I would certainly have taken Shari Belafonte’s place on the team…and won.