“Hey you! Yeah you, driving in front of me.  I’m going to show you a neat trick.  See those hands of yours on the steering wheel?  Do me a favor.  Take your left hand off the wheel.  No, it’s okay, you got this.  Steer with your right hand, for just a second.  See?  All good.  Now, back to the left hand.  Here’s what I want you to do.  I promise, it’s worth it.  Extend your left arm past the steering wheel, almost so your wrist is next to the wheel.   Got it?  Now, feel around with your fingers.  Do you feel that little lever?  Have you noticed that before?  It does magical things.  No really, it does!  Ready?  Lightly push it down in the direction of your lap.  Did you feel that?  Do you hear a hushed repetitive clicking sound?  Well, guess what?  You just turned on your left turn signal.  It makes the light in your left tail light blink to let the person behind you know which way you plan to go…I know, way cool right?  And, if you lightly push the lever up, you can turn on your right turn signal. Mind blown!  Are you amazed?”

Yeah, every year I make three of the same New Year’s resolutions.  The first, and most obvious, is to do more good than the year before.  The second is one that I stole from Bridget Fonda, after reading some article on celebrity resolutions.  It is to floss my teeth more than last year.  Come on, we can always take better care of our teeth.  And, the final resolution is to be a more courteous driver.

It’s not that I suffer from unbearable road rage or anything like that; but, I can get pretty annoyed when the person in front of me doesn’t follow the unwritten rules of the road.  Now, I am a pretty patient person, but the problem is, my allegrophobia trumps my patience every time.  Wait.  Before you go googling things, allegrophobia is a word that someone gave to the fear of being late, when there wasn’t already a word for it – so at least I can take comfort in the fact that I’m not the only one that considers themselves horribly late, if I arrive on time.  So, I need this resolution to keep myself sane.

Here is how it works.  There I am, driving behind someone going way too slow.  In the past, perhaps I’ve muttered some choice statements between the Def Leppard verses I am singing at the top of my lungs.  But, as the years have gone by, thanks to my resolution, I calm my mind by imagining a number of concerns that might be hanging over the head of said slow driver.  Perhaps there is a scared shaking pet in the car and to keep it calm and safe, the driver is taking his time.  I’ve got ya friend, slow and steady.  Maybe they are taking flowers to their grandmother and are having to drive slow to keep the vase from spilling all over the seat.  No worries – so sweet; take your time.  Or, maybe I’m behind someone that whizzes by and cuts me off, almost side swiping me in the process.  Well, perhaps they have a sick child in the car and are driving in a panic to the emergency room.  Please folks, let them by!

However, and likely more often than not, while I’m imagining what life issue they are dealing with that is causing their inconsistent and unpredictable driving insensitivity, they are probably just a bad driver that has no respect for other drivers on the road.  And, that is what irks me.  Go slow, go fast; but please, please, be considerate to the other drivers on the road.  If you want to go slow, get in the right lane.  If you want to imagine you are Mario Andretti, get in the fast lane.  Use your turn signals so that I don’t, at the last minute, have to slam on my breaks because you decide that you are going to all of the sudden turn in front of me.  Have an emergency?   Put your flashers on!  Such little gestures to show a bit of compassion for the driver behind or next to you.

Maybe dedicate one session of Driver’s Ed to being completely unselfish on the road and being courteous to other drivers. Think about this for a second, airplanes have air traffic controllers; trains have centralize traffic control; but, when it comes to autos (buses, trucks & cycles), we have to rely on all the other drivers out there, on their own, to make the right decision.  Yikes!  In a world where errands and daily tasks accommodate the driving customer (drive up ATMs, drive thru pony kegs, drive up dry cleaning drop, drive through food and my all-time favorite, the drive-in theater), we really do need to show a little more kindness to our fellow car travelers.

Let’s make it better for each other.  After all, driving is such an integral part of our lives, we certainly can’t give it up.  Nor would I want to.   We’d miss out on the fun of road trips.  How else would you be able to take a photo in Fred Flintstone’s car at the Flintstone’s Campground/Park, buy a comic book from a just off the interstate Stuckey’s, stay overnight at the glamorous Snow Bowl Motel, or enjoy a delectable milkshake at the Cow Palace?  No planes fly directly to those locations.  And, would it really be as fun taking a train down Route 66?  The answer…no.  We need our beloved cars and where they plan to take us.  Plus, think of all the road trip movies we would have missed out on:  Dutch, The Sure Thing, Rain Man, Vacation, We’re the Millers, Tommy Boy, The Hitcher, Joy Ride, Little Miss Sunshine, Thelma & Louise.  And, of course, and totally by accident this was written the week of the release of its sequel…Disney/Pixar’s Cars.  Cars are amazing.  There are quite a lot of things I can do without, but knowing I can jump in my car and hit the open road to explore all the enchantment out there in the world is one luxury I really don’t want to have to give up.

So, this is my plea.  To all of you sharing the road with me – Please be courteous.  I will give you the benefit of the doubt (even more next year) and let you drive however you want (fast, slow, a little fast followed by a lot of slow, whatever), just follow the basic principles of driving and we’ll all be much happier in the long run.  #50Weeksto50

*This post is dedicated to Blackie, my old trusty and dearly loved Saab (you were the best); and, the theme song to “Night Court.”