I gave a speech in college that was supposed to be about what made me, me.  It reminds me a lot of this website.  A mishmash of the thoughts I have, the things I appreciate, the people I love, the moments that I treasure, the facts that I question and even the nonsensical items that are important to only me.  If I remember that speech correctly, I compared myself to a Trivial Pursuit game.  Lots and lots of pieces of information from all different segments of life that alone may or may not be meaningful to someone out in the world.  But, when you put them all together, they make up one really cool game.

I recall bringing single items to class, as my speech props that represented the multiple pieces of various trivia that made up Julianne.  9 logoed drink tumblers, 432 VHS tapes, 13 Polo sweatshirts, 22 hair ribbons, 15 board games – or something like that.

Half my life later, nothing has changed much.  The logoed drink tumblers are now themed Tervis cups and the VHS tapes are now DVD/Blu-ray (and there are certainly a lot of more of those).  I’ve pared down the Polo sweatshirts by getting rid of the ones that were worn out and replaced them with new ones.  And, the hair ribbons – well, I still have them (hard to part with those)…I’ve just added hair ties.  Board games have grown too.  You want to know Julianne?  Check out my office or my bedroom or my fabric covered bulletin board or even the decorated clipboard in my car. I surround myself with the things I love and the things that make me who I am. My likes and dislikes overflow from every inch of my being and everything I own.

A profiler wouldn’t really have a hard job figuring me out. In fact, there was recently one of those “choose this or that” posts online and my friend Holly said that it reminded her of me (probably because one of the choice picks was Coke or Pepsi, which everyone I ever knew can probably answer without a thought).  She said she could easily figure out each one of them for me except one.  Which, to be fair, was a bit difficult.  The query was summer or winter?  Tricky because summer is most definitely my favorite season; but, the holiday season (more specifically the amount of time between when Christmas lights go up and come down) trumps summer.  I understand why she questioned the choice. But, every other choice? Easy answer.

I found a folder, not too long ago, of things I had pulled out of magazines in my teens and earlier 20s. Things I wanted to own someday, clothes I wanted to wear, stories that would interest me, pictures of amazing party décor or ways people design their rooms.  Again, a miscellany of things.  Figured I could go through and pull out the stuff that didn’t make much sense to me anymore. Not hard to believe – everything in there was still true to form. I do want to have a party one day with that really cool cocktail shrimp ice pyramid display. I hope one day I can find that amazing dress (that was actually one of Barbie’s, so I don’t know if anything similar for a person actually exists). Reading about the making of “Wayne’s World” is still pretty awesome.  And, yes, I do still miss those Frito Lay Mighty Mesquite Crunch Tators (and looking at that ad does make me happy, so I kept it).

I’m not saying life doesn’t change a little bit (look at all the versions of Trivial Pursuit they have made). I’m just saying, the core of who I am doesn’t.  I can live anywhere (Cincinnati, Chicago, Los Angeles, Detroit) or work any job (college Poetry instructor, radio promotions director, publicist) or add new friends to my intimate circle…but everything I believe in, everything I like and everything that makes me who I am, has been consistently the same.  There are no gray areas – every answer is hard and true.  I witness all the time how people seem to change. I’ve asked numerous times, “why did you buy that if you didn’t like it?”  “Well, I liked it then, but I don’t anymore.”  What?  That doesn’t really make sense to me. I still have clothing from high school, still have a mini crush on every boy I ever loved, my dream car is still the Saab convertible (they just don’t make it anymore), my favorite movie was a movie I saw when I was 10, and I still celebrate C. Thomas Howell’s birthday each December.

I have been told by a multitude of people that one of my admirable traits is that I still hold that positive outlook/childhood wonder inside that screams, “anything is possible,” which most people lose as adults.  Maybe that is why I haven’t changed much – part of me is going to stay eternally 14 and that part still loves what it loved then.

Or, maybe, it’s because I have no real regrets in the life I’ve led. If it’s over tomorrow for me, that’s okay.  I have done everything I’ve wanted to do, made decisions I am proud of and love the people I choose to share each day with.  And, that is why I constantly surround myself with everything that reminds me of the amazing life I’ve led thus far.  Keeps the happiness flowing even though the clock keeps ticking?

Or, maybe, I’m fooling myself and I really am a hoarder and have to learn to let things become part of the past?  (nah, that’s not it)

I think I’ll stick with the Trivial Pursuit analogy.  After all, isn’t that what life is all about…playing a really cool game that is filled with a whole of lot of trivia and a heck of a lot to learn if you are interested (just depends which answers are important to you).  You can play with friends or family.  You may win or you may lose.  And, more importantly, you can always start another round until the game is finally put away in the closet.  #50Weeksto50