Week #25: I Know He’s Out There Somewhere

My co-workers recently saw “Happy Death Day;” and, I must say, I was more than pleasantly surprised. Okay, the truth is that the minute I saw the preview, I couldn’t help but anticipate its release. I shared the synopsis and the trailer with everyone I could think of. There was something special about it. I guess it gave me such a jolt because the premise was new for a horror movie in the slasher sub-genre (my favorite of the horror films).

Finally!

A co-ed wakes up the morning of her birthday only to die at the end of the day by an unknown person wearing a school mascot mask. Pretty standard so far, but then…upon the moment of her death, she wakes up to experience the morning of her birthday all over again, realizing she will be killed again by night’s end. She will have to relive her murder, day after day, until she is able to figure out the identity of and stop her killer. I won’t give anything away, but just imagine “Groundhog Day” in a big darkly hued thriller box, draped in bright red slasher wrapping paper, and tied up with a shiny silver Friday the 13th release bow. Happy October! Oh, and did I mention it’s a Universal Picture? (gotta stay true to the team)

It’s quite difficult to find truly creative slasher/horror films at the cineplex. Usually once something has been tackled in the horror genre, it gets spit out over and over and over again until it’s just not that scary anymore. Horror movies, in general, have more franchise sequels than any other genre. And, when your favorite slasher (Freddy, Jason or Michael) boasts between 9-12 films each, I don’t see them putting a stop to their cinematic screen presence, even when the frights are worn out. You see, once that initial scariness has been beaten to death (no pun intended) they just start over with the original film’s story but add in a hip new cast. This is the studio’s attempt to keep the franchise fresh for the next generation. Want some proof?

Here’s a quick sample of what I will call Horror Movie Do-Overs:

  • THE BLOB (1958 & 1988)
  • BLACK CHRISTMAS (1974 & 2006)
  • CARRIE (1976 & 2013)
  • DAY OF THE DEAD (1985 & 2008)
  • THE FOG (1980 & 2005)
  • FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980 & 2009)
  • THE FLY (1958 & 1986)
  • HALLOWEEN (1978 & 2007)
  • THE HITCHER (1986 & 2007)
  • HOUSE OF WAX (1953 & 2005)
  • MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981 & 2009)
  • A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (1984 & 2010)
  • THE OMEN (1976 & 2006)
  • POLTERGEIST (1982 & 2015)
  • PROM NIGHT (1980 & 2008)
  • PSYCHO (1960 & 1998)
  • THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (1974 & 2003)
  • WHEN A STRANGER CALLS (1979 & 2006)
  • INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS (1956 & 1978 & 1993 as BODY SNATCHERS & 2007 as THE INVASION & according to Variety its coming soon again from Warner Bros.), I think you see my point.

So, when reviewing the over-saturated wall of horror videos at Blockbuster, how do you find something inventive, creative and different? (I know we don’t do that anymore, but that’s how we used to do it and it was so much fun to examine and assess each horror film’s box cover and their astounding, although bizarre, artwork – seriously, you kids today missed out.)

Well, I’m here to give you my favorite horror movie chills and frightening film gems. If you can’t find something unique to watch this Halloween or can’t help but wince when you when you hear the words, “I’ll be right back…” don’t fret, you can just read this and be in the know. You don’t even have to cover your eyes. Most of them are in the slasher variety, but with a twist of some sort. I love it when they aren’t so predictable. And, there are plenty more in the ghost or alien categories, but I have to say that I prefer the bad guy scenario, so that’s what thrills me. Maybe it’s because the circumstances seem more feasible in real life and that makes it much more disturbing. After all, watch the nightly news and you will find undeniable proof that people can be way more terrifying than any scary monster. Without any further ado, hats (and heads) off to the geniuses that came up with these…

Starting off with the classic slasher villains:

FRIDAY THE 13TH cleverly found out that if you decapitate the mother in the first one, you can bring the kid back for a sequel and everyone will equate him as an unstoppable killer. After all, he already drowned YEARS ago. A dead killer can continue the hunt a lot longer than a live one. My favorite of the FRIDAY THE 13TH films is Part III (1982). A. It introduced Jason’s illustrious hockey mask. B. It tried to bring back gimmicky 1950s-esque 3D. C. It took place the day immediately following Part II (see “Halloween”). D. If you imagine what a horror movie electronic soundtrack would sound like in the 80s, they stole it from your brain and used it in the opening credits. E. It had my favorite of Jason’s slashing moments: Andy being killed from above while he walks on his hands…right down the middle.

A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET played on dreams. Who doesn’t wonder where the heck dreams come from? Sometimes they are so realistic. Sometimes they allow you to tackle your fears. Sometimes they make no sense at all. The fact that a killer could make his way into what might be your only true safe place (your own mind) is brilliant. I didn’t really care for most of the sequels, but the original premise was extremely clever; and, giving Freddy one-liners, wow! Before this, our slasher friends would tend to keep their mouths shut (Jason, Michael, Leatherface). But not Freddy, “Welcome to Primetime, Bitch!”

HALLOWEEN is my all-time favorite horror film. Why there wasn’t a plethora of scary films based on this holiday before 1978 is remarkable. You’ve got a spooky night of monster movie marathons on television; ghouls, ghosts and goblins around every corner; the background of the night lit by the flickering light of jack-o-lanterns; and, the deadness of fallen leaves and barren trees surrounding you. You are set up for scares. Even better than the setting, your killer is an actual live person – the real boogeyman! The quiet boy that lived down the street killed his sister and then grew up, escaped from a mental facility and came back to town. A completely inexpressive killer (even his mask exemplifies non-emotion) has come to town on Halloween night to finish what he started. Oh, Michael Myers, you embodiment of evil, you are nothing short of terrifying perfection. Add in what is one of the most clever pieces of the horror movie puzzle (it was even copied by Jason, though not quite as well), HALLOWEEN II then took place immediately following the original film. Not that you needed the back story behind Michael’s murder spree (in fact, it’s almost more horrifying without), but you get to carry on with the scariest evening you ever witnessed for more gruesome entertainment.  And, that soundtrack, oh my…I just can’t…watching Michael’s slow force as he walks in the shadows, following close behind Laurie (Jamie Lee Curtis) as she runs back to the house.  I can’t think of enough positive words to describe it.  It is a flawless piece of fear and the original slasher film.  Thank you John Carpenter.

Okay, now that my love-fest over HALLOWEEN is documented, we can move on to the films that took our favorite slasher moments and gave them a fun little twist.

APRIL FOOL’S DAY was clever because – SPOILER ALERT (skip to the next film if you haven’t seen this one, I don’t want to ruin it for you) – well, because no one actually dies.  It’s still a slasher film, but in the final moments of fright you find out it was all a hoax, but in a good friendly way.  Not to mention that the casting was extraordinary for an 80s movie:  Deborah Foreman, the one and only “Valley Girl,” was the lead.  Interesting fact, she won the Most Promising New Star award from Sho West (the convention that celebrates movie-going now called CinemaCon) in 1986 because of her work in “Valley Girl,” “My Chauffeur,” and “Real Genius” (another of my favorites).  It also assembled a variety of other 80s favorites including Ken Olandt (Larry/“Summer School”), Amy Steel (Ginny/“Friday the 13th Part 2”), Thomas F. Wilson (Biff/”Back to the Future”), Deborah Goodrich (Deborah/”Just One of the Guys”), and, be still my heart, Clayton Rohner (Rick/also from ”Just One of the Guys”).  Plus it gave me the amazing idea to one day make up Barbie’s to look like my best friends.

Now SCREAM took the slasher film to a different plane.  It not only gave us multiple slashers, it made fun of the exact genre it was a part of by including a horror film obsessed character that rattled off the rules of surviving in a horror film.  And, it opened with Drew Barrymore having to answer questions about our favorite slasher friends, Michael & Jason…well, Jason’s mom, Mrs. Vorhees anyway because she was the killer in the original “Friday the 13th” (make sure you keep that info handy, you know, just in case).

FINAL DESTINATION was an unusual take on the slasher film because technically there WAS a slasher bad guy; but, he was, plain and simple, death.  Fate can be cruel.  No body, no moral compass, no escape – an invisible, creative killer that came up with the most inspired deaths.  Who knew death was so clever!  You knew WHO was next (so that was different), but you couldn’t usually imagine how.  The fact that some of them ended up being such a cosmic, mishmash, chain reaction of incidents, you couldn’t have figured it out if you tried.  For example, the death of Ms. Lewton played out like this:

  • Hot water poured into a ceramic mug
  • Hot water thrown out, in goes cold vodka
  • Mug’s temperature change causes it to crack
  • Unaware of the crack, trail of vodka follows Ms. Lewton as she makes her way across room
  • Mug is put on computer and vodka drips inside causing a short circuit and smoke
  • Ms. Lewton notices smoke, leaning in to check as monitor explodes, sending pieces into her neck
  • Ms. Lewton pulls out the computer pieces causing lots of blood
  • Computer spark hits the vodka trail which leads back and sets kitchen on fire – explosion, throws Ms. Lewton to the floor
  • Bleeding and injured, Ms. Lewton reaches for towel
  • Towel is on top of knife block, so when towel is pulled knives fall (one into her chest)
  • Fire reaches oven and gas explodes causing chair to fall on top of her and push knife deeper into her chest
  • House completely explodes

I mean really.  One step out of the equation and death wouldn’t be so successful.  Some of death’s other fun tricks in the franchise include a tanning bed duo-death and post-Lasik surgery accident (come on who could have predicted those) and then in the fourth film, we find out the survivors of the 5th film have actually just boarded Flight 180 from the original film – and the death cycle continues.  Face it, you can’t beat death – or that guy in the morgue that also plays Candyman.

JOY RIDE may not be that inventive, and wasn’t so much of a slasher film (not enough blood); but, it did follow the right formula, and was a lot of fun, so I’m including it.  Here’s what I liked: First of all, it had a really good cast (Paul Walker, Steve Zahn & Leelee Sobieski).  Secondly, it had to do with a road trip and a dark night out on the highway.  That’s been used as the setting in an excess of horror genre films: “The Hitcher,” “Nightmares,” “Jeepers Creepers,” “Wrong Turn,” and, heck, even “Psycho”.  Clearly, the open road is clearly a scary place, especially because it immediately puts you in an unfamiliar location.  But, what I, personally, loved best about JOY RIDE is that it shows you what can happen when you break the rules.  Yes people are scary out there, so for the love of god, don’t provoke the crazies by playing a prank on them.  People are unstable and maybe we all just need to step back a minute before we do something stupid.  Those that know me know how much of a rule follower I can be.  It’s not entirely a positive quality, but I would much rather be safe than sorry.  I don’t like to hurt people’s feelings or disappoint people.  And, more importantly, what it really boils down to is I don’t like to get in trouble.  In my experience, it causes only more trouble.  And, the good news, none of your favorite actors end up dead – at least during the film.  Obviously, you find out at the end that the killer is still out there, so who knows what happened next.

Finally, HELL NIGHT.  Actually there is absolutely nothing unique or special about this slasher film.  It’s got Linda Blair in it (been there).  It starts with a drunken fraternity/sorority party of over-sexed co-eds (done that).  A scary, possibly haunted, mansion with a creepy back-story (duh); and, it follows every single one of those rules from Scream (okay, we got it).  In fact, I’m not sure if you ever really find out if there was one killer or two killers that were brothers (or father and son).  Yeah, it’s not a totally flushed out film, even though it has some fun moments.  However, it ingeniously found a reason to put Vince Van Patten in heart boxer shorts.  Boy, was he dreamy!

And, some concluding fun facts: The number one film franchise of all time is GODZILLA with almost 30 separate films.  A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET has 9 films in its franchise (I count “Freddy vs. Jason”), followed by HALLOWEEN with 10, though one of them was “Halloween III: Season of the Witch” (which had nothing to do with Michael Myers); and, they actually started over the franchise at one point to discount all the middle films.  What receives the crown for king of slashers is FRIDAY THE 13TH with 12 films!  Now, if you would like a little tease of what it was like to revel in the fun of horror film VHS box covers, I found this fun page on Pinterest:  www.pinterest.com/jonnothin/the-best-horror-vhs-box-art

Happy Halloween!  #50WeeksTo50